The Beginnings of a Manifesto

Sadia's Manifesto on Crushes (to be further developed): Inspired by the following conversation, I will attempt to explain why I laugh when boys say stupid things. When a boy tells you how he feels (which is not necessarily stupid), he does so often to relieve himself of these feelings. He wants to be sure that he is clear about his feelings so that he can feel better about himself, so that he does not carry these feelings in his chest. And often so that he can move on to the next girl. At the particular moment, his declaration might be genuine. But the benefits of declarations like "I love you" or "I like you" or variants like "I want to be with you" are all ultimately irrelevant to the receiving object of these declarations (i.e. Sadia). These are irrelevant because these feelings are transient. These feelings pass with time. Crushes are temporary fixes, like intoxicants or orgasms. They feel good but cannot be sustained, especially when they are unreciprocated.

What is the proper response to such things? Laughing at another person's ego is wrong, I admit, but I cannot find a more effective response than laughter for the silliness of human emotion and frailty.

Most girls I know welcome the attention or affection. Even the girls who get regular marriage proposals enjoy receiving propositions, no matter how absurd because on some level, it serves to boost their egos. It makes them feel wanted. They are often wanted for their beauty or money or a combination of the two. Personality, no matter how great, is never the reason a boy falls for a girl, though boys like to pretend that that is the cause of their attraction. Feeling wanted should come from yourself. One should enjoy one's company. One's time alone. One's own preoccupations. One's own achievements. Sharing oneself with one's friends. When a boy tells you how he feels prematurely (which is always the case), he takes away from what you might have together. He puts himself out there in hopes that the girl will reciprocate. But she refuses. And the potential friendship is damaged.

NightwingNYU: sadia, this is greg. we use to have writing the essay together. how are u?
AZi93: hi
AZi93: fine
AZi93: how are you
NightwingNYU: good
NightwingNYU: how is life treating you, my dear friend?
AZi93: good
AZi93: i was at the fireworks show last night
AZi93: saw it from the un building
NightwingNYU: cool
NightwingNYU: What are you up to?
AZi93: hanging out. reading
NightwingNYU: cool
AZi93: howd you get my info
NightwingNYU: a little bird named facebook told me.
NightwingNYU: is that a problem?>
AZi93: no
AZi93: i use facebook all the time
AZi93: why dont you add me as your friend
NightwingNYU: if you wish.
AZi93: yeah
NightwingNYU: cool
NightwingNYU: Do you even remember me?
AZi93: sure
AZi93: you were in my [writing the essay] class
AZi93: i loved that class
AZi93: and you saw me randomly in the street the other day
NightwingNYU: what do you remember? I know we haven't seen, or spoken to each other in awhile.
AZi93: i rememebr you were in my class
NightwingNYU: lol, yeah that is pretty much it.
AZi93: and i remember making jokes
AZi93: cause it was 8am
NightwingNYU: yeah, i remember that.
AZi93: and jenny thinking i was brilliant so early in the morning
NightwingNYU: lol
AZi93: brilliant and stupid at the same time
NightwingNYU: do you remember i had a crush on you?
AZi93: no
NightwingNYU: I guess I was really good at keeping a secret. lol
AZi93: crushes are temporary and pass with time though
NightwingNYU: usually......
AZi93: haha
AZi93: sometimes they take a really long time to pass
NightwingNYU: i'm glad you find ot funny
AZi93: i find everything funny
NightwingNYU: *that
NightwingNYU: I see.
NightwingNYU: cool
AZi93: but im flattered
NightwingNYU: no need to be flattered. I just wanted to let you know.
AZi93: thanks
NightwingNYU: if we are goinmg to be facebook buddies, i just thought you should know. lol
AZi93: facebook is the real test of friendship
[sadia's internet goes down so conversation ends abruptly.] [sadia continues to laugh]