Letters to My Daughter

I think I owe the swear jar hundreds of dollars in payment. I have found that swearing has now become habitual passtime activity. I have met the onslaught of assignments, readings, and responsibilities with mindless inexplicable cursing. I remember meeting dates in the middle of the night, and paper topics and ideas when I'm showering or eating. I can't sit in the library for more than 30 minutes and not fall asleep or daydream. The irrgularities of my thinking have made swearing (the current vogue is using Prophet Isa's name in vain or in its variant forms--Jeez, Gee Whiz, etc.) more justifiable. I reason that given the chaotic pattern of my life, and the extreme behaviors of all-nighters at least once a week for pleasure, swearing is the least of my worries. Along with swearing comes another peculiar behavior, crying. I am not fond of crying. It is a display of weakness if one cries out of pain caused by others. However, to cry out of joy is a manifestation of internal ha

In the Name of God, the Most Merciful, the Most Kind The Small Kindness (Sura 107) Do you see him who calls the reckoning a lie? He is the one who casts the orphan away who fails to urge the feeding of one in need Cursed are those who perform the prayer unmindfully who make of themselves a big show but hold back the small kindness This sura speaks literally of three problems: (1) denial of the revelation that is Islam (2) abuse of the orphan and (3) neglect in prayer. These are three distinct but related ideas because the initial attitude translate into behaviors that are contrary to Islamic moral theology. That is, "those who reject the reckoning, are those who abuse the orphan, who are indifferent to those suffering in their midst, and who are neglectful in performing the prayer" (Sells, 125). One who fails to recognize the significance of faith passes through life mechanically, acquiring material objects, seeking pleasurable stimuli, without ever fully recognizing his or h

Today I was told I was robot. Here's an excerpt: A: u like thinkin like a robot sometimes me: you as in me? or you as in people in general A: u as in u A: like u act so cold it seems like theres no heart A: let me explain how this connects with u my robot metaphor A: u act cold n non affectionate a robot is non affectionate n can b cold, u love to use words to show love a robot also can use words to show love Today my friends threw me a surprise birthday party at Riverside Park, right off the West Side Highway. It was a beautiful day spent with beautiful people who continue to light up my life. I rode the carousel twice. I watched the river. I ate biryani. I played, I skipped, I cried quietly. I no longer feel like writing.

From The Sufi Path of Love: The Spiritual Teachings of Rumi, William C. Chittick (SUNY Albany, 1983), 181. "There is no god but God. This testimony of faith is composed of two parts. The first part, "no god" (la ilaha) is known as the "negation" (nafy), while the second part, "but God" (illa-llah) is the "affirmation" (ithbat). First the shahadah negates the world, then it affirms the existence of God. It signifies that nothing is real but the Real. Everything we see and imagine as real is a false reality, a false divinity; and beyond all these things and all vision and imagination is the true Reality, the One God. "There is no god but He: All things perish, except His Face (qtd in Qu'ran, XXVIII 88) "When the shahadah is applied to the human individual, it signifies that "There is no self but the Self." Since man does not see things as they are, he imagines that his own self is real and that nothing lies beyond it. E

Today I turned 20. I spent the day with some great people, ate some great food, good icecream cake, dressed up pretty for pictures, passed the hours like I would any other day. Moumita's mom came over this morning to give me a big, long hug and to insist that all I need now is a balo cheele , or a good boy. There is no good boy because of fear. I felt that my 19 years had prepared me for this moment, this particular time in which I would choose between risk and safety. If I am to believe anything I write on this blog, I must do what is difficult because it is the only thing worthwhile. If I believe that the meaning (of love and companionship) is truly superior to form, and the external prettiness of French pedicured toes and new clothes, then I need a change. I write about rationality like it is the bulk of my soul, but the fear of commitment is 98% irrational. If I believe that the beauty of knowing somebody else is significant, then I can make the time. I must make the effort to

From http://www.spiritualityhealth.com/newsh/items/blank/item_9883.html "To the spiritual mind, confession takes on an added significance, since the story that is told is ultimately concerned with reconnecting to the sacred . Spiritual traditions, through sacred rituals, view confession as a process of returning to God or to transcendent spiritual values that have been neglected when our words, thoughts, and deeds have gone astray. "Religious thinkers such as Carl Jung and Dietrich Bonhoeffer have reflected that the act of sharing with another human being may be a critical ingredient in the healing powers of confession. "

It is difficult to be merely a friend to a boy who seems more suitable as a husband than a friend. To reduce a potential life partner to a friend is immature and selfish. Friendship is the not the greatest type of relationship, but it is the safest. Friendship allows you to be intimate without the messiness of other things, like physical attraction, etc. Between friends, there is a warm permanence, a fuzziness that can be called appreciation and gratitude. There is also comfort and trust. Friendship is great if only for the possibility that one can know the beauty of another human being. The possibility of that is worth the difficulty of all else. But sometimes friendship is not enough. Sometimes, to reduce someone to friend when he should be much more is an affront to the opportunity God has presented before you. It is like saying to him, I know that we are amazing together, but we should be friends because I am a dumbass. To reduce him to friend also precludes the possibility of love