Letters to My Daughter

When picking a potential spouse, it is the disposition of the daughter in law (what I will refer to as the "Willingness of the Wife" or WoW) that determines her success or failure at building a relationship with her in-laws? I have recently discovered two instances in which the Willingness of the Wife (or lack thereof) to spend time with her inlaws was the cause of separation. In one case, the wife refused to bond with her mother-in-law, refused to visit even though she lived down the street. In another case, the girlfriend chose to ignore her boyfriend's family at a Thanksgiving dinner celebration, instead planting herself before AIM and chatting away her evening. These two cases raised questions of WoW as the primary cause of antagonist behavior from the wife. I think daughter in laws (naturally), and women generally, prefer to do what they want to do. If individuals make decisions based on their preferences, then why is there a double standard when it comes to the cho