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Loneliness and Berger

I remembered today what keeps growing, strangely and unwanted in my heart, is the loneliness. A loneliness of the self, when you feel strangely disconnected from your soul, as if you've drained your ruh down the bathtub sink after your bubble bath that somehow left you more stressed. And I feel the people around me tolerate my moods but that their presence cannot fill this void that is enlarging in my chest.

Moumie007: there is a saying by either rumi, ibn ata'allah or abdul qadir jilaini
Moumie007: not sure who
Moumie007: but it goes "when Allah isolates you don't go out and seek company, and when He gives you company do not go out to find solitude"
Moumie007: zaid shakir talks about tech and social saturation
Moumie007: how being constantly connected to people
Moumie007: makes us forget the unseen world

I walked in the rain today, alone, and satisfied with myself. Resisted the urge to call someone to tell him/her what I was doing, to ask how he or she was doing, to make dinner or coffee plans for later. I walked in the rain today alone, resisting these urges because they were difficult to resist. And I want to do what is difficult.

I did not take pleasure in my company, in the solitude, however. Each day, I spend far too much sitting before my computer, or with my cell phone growing out of my ear, that I forget to listen to myself. There is hardly a moment of introspection. These blogs are self reflective for I reflect on the transmissions of my readings. Yet, the quietness or stillness of my heart, I do not listen to anymore. I'd rather fill the quiet spaces with the tapping of my keyboard, or the dialing of numbers on the cell. Technology fills the distance I feel from myself. It might be a substitute for real human connection, but it is largely a distraction from myself.

Self delusion. According to Peter Berger, deceiving the self is easy to do. Now, its deceiving others that requires skill. Apparently, the use of technology is great in furthering your level of self delusion.

Comments

  1. Anonymous6/30/2005

    hmmmm...very true...

    here's another interesting side effect of technology: the distancing of society. While people say that technology brings people together across seas through quick exchanges of bits, there is something to be said about the the lack of a need to visit people. Before cell phones and e-mail, people would actually trek out to meet each other, greet each other, show love for one another.

    We no longer have patience for trips and traveling. We "know" more about one another's lives and yet still grow distant from our fellow brothers/sisters.

    for example, how much detail can you remember from your last phone call with someone from afar? how about your last trip with them? My bet is that the trip was more memorable.

    ~my two cents
    ~shili (too lazy to create a blogger account)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sadia7/02/2005

    the last phone call? what i remember will depend on who i was speaking to, how important that person is or is not. i've spent time with people in person and i've wished that i was on the phone with them instead of physically with them. on the phone, one can feign interest. one has more control over what is revealed. there is so much more to process in face-to-face interactions, as well. these make personal interaction more difficult.

    email, phone conversations, epistolary correspondences (i still like letters)--these facilitate human communication. they are easy and effortless. but they are not substitutes for the real things, the real walks , the real food, the real places, the real conversations.

    ReplyDelete

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