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The Free-falling Effect of Joblessness

Tom Petty said it best: "I'm free, free fallin.'" He might have been describing heartbreak, but I think the joblessness of my state, and that of the United States, are one and the same. I feel that my mental state has gradually withered away as I've received rejection after rejection--sometimes multiple rejections in one day! "It's not you," friends console, "It's the economy." As much as I would like to blame the ECONOMY for all that's wrong in my world right now, to do so would be irresponsible. In fact, my joblessness has much more to do with my lack of confidence, lack of engagement, and my lack of aggressiveness.

I have had 12 callbacks in the past 2 months. And not a single job offer. My interviews were great, some lasting over an hour because my recruiters felt like long lost friends. However, at the end of the day, I am still without a job.

What could have gone wrong? Did I smell? Was my hijab too tight? Did I not provide sufficient details of my capacity to WORK? It must be a combination of all the above, because I do not understand why I am still not providing for myself and my family.

What I believe is possible is that I will be able to create opportunities for myself, to make the reality and lifestyle that I want to live given sufficient moxie. I have the power to change this condition. I must continue to try, to try, and then try again. If failure is a lesson, and of course it must be, I must adapt my strategies to elude failure.

Decisions for graduate school will be arriving soon, and I am feeling that the rejection letters are soon to follow. I am grateful still, that I was able to try to do something good, something better, and something worthwhile. I spent a total of $600 on graduate school applications. If not one materializes into acceptance, alhamdullilah. I will just have to try harder.

Even if I feel like I am free-falling, there are safety nets that catch me when I fall. I am grateful to have those individuals in my life who keep me from crashing completely into oblivion. Alhamdullilah. Praise be to God for giving me the capacity to understand that this is simply a minor trial. Even as the world continues to spin, I will create my own momentum.

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