I am happy to report that the world has changed dramatically since my last post. The World, with a capital W, has changed because of war, the new President, the market meltdown, and overall shoddy economic times. Given that there are many insightful, well written posts about the state of the world and its complexities, I will remain focused on my narcissistic musings, as I remember that was the original purpose of this blog.
First, the world has changed for me. The preponderance of babies and weddings in the world has shown me how incredibly normal, humbling, and special it is to be part of the celebration of new relationships, to be in the presence of a product of those very things. Weddings, and celebrations, I imagined would be ending once marriage season ended, with friends getting married but now I am entering a world in which women (my age or not) are giving birth, buying houses, creating homes--being MARRIED.
After two years, I must admit I am a rather unfortunate learner. In my efforts to distance myself from all the negative images and associations of domesticity, I have come to appropriate many of the things I thought I hated: Largely, different forms of Consumerism (cleaning products, expensive things, beautiful acquired things).
For starters, I love cleanliness. SO much so that I am willing to pay for it, out of my own pocket (which is rather shallow given my exorbitant spending on gifts, and frivolity) Secondly, I am incredibly curious and fascinated by women who have immaculate houses. What cleaning products do they use? How do they organize their entryways? I am sure there are magazines targeted to innocent people like me who haven't a clue how to even change the PUR filter. To advertisers I am prey, a victim of having had no household chores (i.e. cleaning experience) and wanting only the best, most expensive products for my home.
I have learned that I am extremely brand conscious, even more so now because there are no name brand products in my new home. Sure, Lysol is here and Clorox but for detergent, I am now introduced to AJAX and SUNLIGHT dishwashing detergent. I am also incredibly intimate with MARCEL bath tissue. Sometimes when I use these substitutes (which work relatively well), I think of the Real, unadulterated originals: Tide, Charmin, Palmolive-- I think of them because I am insanely brand conscious.
After years (okay, maybe only 2 years) of wearing makeup from a tv commercial, I decided to get a makeover at MAC, at the insistence of my mother who went first. I proceeded then to pay for all the products used by the makeup artist--and she used a lot of things for my mother and me-- and when the charge exceeded $500, I could only think: WOW, I am a sucker for expensive things. Or, an advertiser's dream consumer. Prodigal and gullible.
Another change is an increased interest in things related to the home. I have a desire to beautify my home. I understand that most women (like my mom) who works 8 to 5 Mon-Fri and then 6 to 11 on Saturdays, are just too busy to buy fancy things. She is a woman with the right priorities. She would rather invest time in the kitchen cooking meals for her family, than go shopping for things for her house. I on the the other hand, have a difficult time noticing "things I don't like" on a daily basis. Most of the week is a blur, just getting ready, remembering lunches, cooking/cleaning up dinners, ironing scarves--that by the weekend, when I am slightly idle and at home, I am irritated by the things that are missing. The problem may be my lack of initiative. Given my failure to obtain a license just yet--yes, I am a loser for not being able to drive--I need to coordinate drop-off, and pick up times with my husband. I also need to specify what, where, and how much.
This is not how I grew up. My mother, for as long as I could remember, would buy new things (and replace old things) for the house on a monthly basis. Yes, she worked from 8 to 3:30, cooked lunch before she left for work, cleaned the house every morning, and made sure that my brother and I were clothed, fed, clean, and prepared for school. SHe also made sure that was the case for my father, who's sole responsibility in our house was to run his own business and keep the finances in order. My father also, to my fond recollection, never denied me, my brother, or my mother anything. I don't remember his saying "no" to any of us, especially when it came to insignificant material things. According to my mother, all materials things from a car, to an apartment, furniture, luxury items--these are all insignificant in terms of cost. If you want it or need it, you buy it. I am not keen on this philosophy and often tried to dissuade my parents from making unnecessary purchases--what need is there for a Benz when you can drive a Toyota? But yeah, I always lost to my mother's appeals to "achieving dreams", never wanting to deny what came from the heart (as she put it).. etc. For that, I am grateful because I had a incredibly comfortable childhood.
It is different here. Dad says no, often and regularly. I pick up things to buy, and Dad will ask why, how much, etc. And that is because my Dad is a really educated consumer. He will shop for the best price, and the best deal regardless of the cost of his time. My mother on the hand rarely looks at the price of things. I fall somewhere in between. Highly dismissive of cost, but incredibly cheap in general. My husband, thank God, has excellent taste in just about everything. I trust his judgement completely. If he says a $1200 purse is a bad buy, then I go with that. If I try to buy a useless souvenir for $50, he will encourage me to think more deeply about the person who is receiving the gift, and what they need. His qualities have remained rather consistent in the past two years, I can happily report.
I think another change in circumstance is my ability to adapt to change. If I don't like something, sure I complain about it on my journal, or to my mother, but I do eventually take measures to change the situation. Often my bursts of activity happen irregularly, but I am grateful that they happen. My fear is that I will just meekly accept the things I don't like, and just have a place to sleep at the end of the day. Alhamdullilah, that is still a lot. Some days, when I come home from the cold, or rain or whatever elements, I feel incredibly blessed to have a place to live. It is a simple, and EXTRAORDINARY blessing these days, given the rate of foreclosures, the manner in which people must evacuate their homes because of war, job loss, sickness-- My supervisor told me how her friend doesn't have hot water, or heat in her apartment, which is owned by a bank. I was incredulous. Just having a place to live (with basic amenities) at the end of the day is a blessing. It doesn't matter how the house is dressed (or not dressed) but it is a blessing to be in a home.
Thus, I have changed some of my approaches. Still, there is a lot to do in order to better organize my home. One great lesson I learned from my friend Wanny is that the more stuff you buy, the more you have to clean. That has kept me from hitting the furniture stores just yet.
If I were to design my ideal room, it would just be a room with built in shelving, and books. A book wall. And a desk to sit and read. A filing cabinet for papers, documents. A label maker so all the titles of the folders are uniformly printed. I would have artwork framed and hanged. And sheer curtains for the window. All this would be in subtle shades of cream, ivory, and maybe lavender or green. (Clearly, I could use some help with the color scheme) I would also have a soft carpet. And the furniture in the room would be light and airy, like me.
First, the world has changed for me. The preponderance of babies and weddings in the world has shown me how incredibly normal, humbling, and special it is to be part of the celebration of new relationships, to be in the presence of a product of those very things. Weddings, and celebrations, I imagined would be ending once marriage season ended, with friends getting married but now I am entering a world in which women (my age or not) are giving birth, buying houses, creating homes--being MARRIED.
After two years, I must admit I am a rather unfortunate learner. In my efforts to distance myself from all the negative images and associations of domesticity, I have come to appropriate many of the things I thought I hated: Largely, different forms of Consumerism (cleaning products, expensive things, beautiful acquired things).
For starters, I love cleanliness. SO much so that I am willing to pay for it, out of my own pocket (which is rather shallow given my exorbitant spending on gifts, and frivolity) Secondly, I am incredibly curious and fascinated by women who have immaculate houses. What cleaning products do they use? How do they organize their entryways? I am sure there are magazines targeted to innocent people like me who haven't a clue how to even change the PUR filter. To advertisers I am prey, a victim of having had no household chores (i.e. cleaning experience) and wanting only the best, most expensive products for my home.
I have learned that I am extremely brand conscious, even more so now because there are no name brand products in my new home. Sure, Lysol is here and Clorox but for detergent, I am now introduced to AJAX and SUNLIGHT dishwashing detergent. I am also incredibly intimate with MARCEL bath tissue. Sometimes when I use these substitutes (which work relatively well), I think of the Real, unadulterated originals: Tide, Charmin, Palmolive-- I think of them because I am insanely brand conscious.
After years (okay, maybe only 2 years) of wearing makeup from a tv commercial, I decided to get a makeover at MAC, at the insistence of my mother who went first. I proceeded then to pay for all the products used by the makeup artist--and she used a lot of things for my mother and me-- and when the charge exceeded $500, I could only think: WOW, I am a sucker for expensive things. Or, an advertiser's dream consumer. Prodigal and gullible.
Another change is an increased interest in things related to the home. I have a desire to beautify my home. I understand that most women (like my mom) who works 8 to 5 Mon-Fri and then 6 to 11 on Saturdays, are just too busy to buy fancy things. She is a woman with the right priorities. She would rather invest time in the kitchen cooking meals for her family, than go shopping for things for her house. I on the the other hand, have a difficult time noticing "things I don't like" on a daily basis. Most of the week is a blur, just getting ready, remembering lunches, cooking/cleaning up dinners, ironing scarves--that by the weekend, when I am slightly idle and at home, I am irritated by the things that are missing. The problem may be my lack of initiative. Given my failure to obtain a license just yet--yes, I am a loser for not being able to drive--I need to coordinate drop-off, and pick up times with my husband. I also need to specify what, where, and how much.
This is not how I grew up. My mother, for as long as I could remember, would buy new things (and replace old things) for the house on a monthly basis. Yes, she worked from 8 to 3:30, cooked lunch before she left for work, cleaned the house every morning, and made sure that my brother and I were clothed, fed, clean, and prepared for school. SHe also made sure that was the case for my father, who's sole responsibility in our house was to run his own business and keep the finances in order. My father also, to my fond recollection, never denied me, my brother, or my mother anything. I don't remember his saying "no" to any of us, especially when it came to insignificant material things. According to my mother, all materials things from a car, to an apartment, furniture, luxury items--these are all insignificant in terms of cost. If you want it or need it, you buy it. I am not keen on this philosophy and often tried to dissuade my parents from making unnecessary purchases--what need is there for a Benz when you can drive a Toyota? But yeah, I always lost to my mother's appeals to "achieving dreams", never wanting to deny what came from the heart (as she put it).. etc. For that, I am grateful because I had a incredibly comfortable childhood.
It is different here. Dad says no, often and regularly. I pick up things to buy, and Dad will ask why, how much, etc. And that is because my Dad is a really educated consumer. He will shop for the best price, and the best deal regardless of the cost of his time. My mother on the hand rarely looks at the price of things. I fall somewhere in between. Highly dismissive of cost, but incredibly cheap in general. My husband, thank God, has excellent taste in just about everything. I trust his judgement completely. If he says a $1200 purse is a bad buy, then I go with that. If I try to buy a useless souvenir for $50, he will encourage me to think more deeply about the person who is receiving the gift, and what they need. His qualities have remained rather consistent in the past two years, I can happily report.
I think another change in circumstance is my ability to adapt to change. If I don't like something, sure I complain about it on my journal, or to my mother, but I do eventually take measures to change the situation. Often my bursts of activity happen irregularly, but I am grateful that they happen. My fear is that I will just meekly accept the things I don't like, and just have a place to sleep at the end of the day. Alhamdullilah, that is still a lot. Some days, when I come home from the cold, or rain or whatever elements, I feel incredibly blessed to have a place to live. It is a simple, and EXTRAORDINARY blessing these days, given the rate of foreclosures, the manner in which people must evacuate their homes because of war, job loss, sickness-- My supervisor told me how her friend doesn't have hot water, or heat in her apartment, which is owned by a bank. I was incredulous. Just having a place to live (with basic amenities) at the end of the day is a blessing. It doesn't matter how the house is dressed (or not dressed) but it is a blessing to be in a home.
Thus, I have changed some of my approaches. Still, there is a lot to do in order to better organize my home. One great lesson I learned from my friend Wanny is that the more stuff you buy, the more you have to clean. That has kept me from hitting the furniture stores just yet.
If I were to design my ideal room, it would just be a room with built in shelving, and books. A book wall. And a desk to sit and read. A filing cabinet for papers, documents. A label maker so all the titles of the folders are uniformly printed. I would have artwork framed and hanged. And sheer curtains for the window. All this would be in subtle shades of cream, ivory, and maybe lavender or green. (Clearly, I could use some help with the color scheme) I would also have a soft carpet. And the furniture in the room would be light and airy, like me.
Comments
Post a Comment