I have not written on my blog, though I have really wanted to talk about married life, school, plans, etc. But basically. all that can be summarized as Alhamdullilah. What I love about my blog is posting papers that have already been graded. Here is a recent one. Basically, he write about why it is good to be married.
I love that I am no longer preoccupied with thoughts of boys, friendships, soul mates, gender relations, etc. Marriage personally has allowed me to engage in my coursework like I have never been able to before. It is a wonderous experience to be ready for class, with questions, to pursue your professors with questions, etc. Anyway, marriage is the sunnah of the Prophet (saw) andd highly regarded because of so many different merits. As only al-Ghazali can elaborate:
Marriage and Maintenance:
The Discourse of Paternalism in al Ghazali’s The Proper Conduct of Marriage in Islam
Praise be to Allah Whose wondrous works are proof against the arrows of illusion, from Whose simplest marvels the minds of men reel, giddy and perplexed abound for all creatures without cease. (5)
In describing the impression of one who considers Allah’s creation, Imam al Ghazali uses the adjectives “giddy and perplexed.” However, such a description also characterizes one who is trying to write about the “simplest marvels” of Ghazali’s text, The Proper Conduct of Marriage in Islam. An account of the prescriptive behavior regarding marriage and conjugal life, Ghazali begins with an exaltation of Allah, who created men from seminal fluid, and endowed his creatures with sexual appetite (5). This appetite is regulated and satisfied by “commendation and command”, i.e. from the sunnah of the Prophet (saw) and the Qur’an. Imported into the Islamic tradition is androcentrism, a view in which man and the male point of view is at the center of history and culture. Like most medieval Islamic discourse, the work of al Ghazali also adopts an androcentric point of view. Consequently, al Ghazali only addresses the man: e.g. reasons why he should marry, reasons why he may not need to marry, what responsibilities he has over his wives, how he is supposed to treat his wives, how he should provide sexual satisfaction to his wives, how he should provide a legitimate earning in order to provide for them. Although this androcentrism can be read into the text, in the Islamic worldview, the center of discourse is Allah (swt), and the individual’s relationship with Allah. This particular relationship mediates all other relationships because man’s responsibility first to his Creator precedes his duties to his wife and family. In fact, this hierarchy of worldview provides a framework in which to consider how the woman, who is seemingly absent in the text, is regarded. The overwhelming focus is on how husbands must be responsible for their wives because marriage and maintenance are ultimately a means to the specific end of serving Allah (swt). Therefore, in describing women as objects of male responsibility, al Ghazali is only showing how the male fulfills his duty to Allah.
In his first chapter, al Ghazali presents a cost-benefit analysis of marriage. In defense of marriage, he states: “Marriage comes to religion’s aid, striking devils with dismay; it is a fortress firm against Allah’s enemy, as well as a cause of prolificacy [of the Muslim community]” (6). This suggests that marriage offers two benefits. First, as a “fortress,” marriage is first a protection for the individual against illicit lust or other such improper conduct. The widely held view is that excessive sexual energy disrupts one’s ability to worship God, and creates corruption in society. Therefore the individual should have his sexual appetite satisfied through marriage. Al Ghazali uses evidence from the practices and sayings of Prophet Muhammad (saw) who says, “He who has means should marry” (8).
The second benefit to marriage is the begetting children. For al-Ghazali this is actually the primary reason for marriage because it is listed first in his analysis. Because within the Islamic tradition, there is evidence of encouraging even the impotent man to marry. In addition, there is a valuation of the fertile woman over the sterile woman, the severe disapproval of abstinence, and the commitment to pleasing and satisfying “Allah’s blessed Messenger by multiplying those who are to be his source of glory” (18). This following of the commendation and command of the Prophet (saw) becomes superior to pleasing one’s own desires. In discussing the virtue of marriage, therefore, al-Ghazali challenges the idea that marriage is solely a means to contain a man’s lust. Indeed, marriage is not a source of containment for the man, but rather a means of strength because children are benefits to salvation. This is because first, “the father is rewarded for his child’s prayers and good deeds,” and second, the child who dies before his father becomes an intercessor for him (19). The reasons for having children are related ultimately to the fact that the children will facilitate the individual’s salvation.
Although the mother is not addressed explicitly due to the androcentric worldview, she is understood to be included within the designation of “he.” When discussing marriage as a defense against illicit lust, Al-Ghazali does not seem to assume that the woman is without sexual desire, because in Chapter 3, he describes how it is proper sexual etiquette for the male to “attend patiently to his mate, until she also reaches her climax” (75). Al Ghazali recognizes the sexual appetite of the woman, and instructs the husband to tend to her sexual needs because the husband is responsible for preserving the virtue of his wife (75).
'The relationship between a man and woman is largely one of paternalism. The husband is responsible for providing for the wife in all ways, from making a halal living, to meeting her sexual needs, to guarding her virtue and modesty. Wives are like wards of the husband, to be protected as well as endured, as suggested by the following:
Upholding the rights of wives, enduring their tempers, bearing the pain they cause, endeavoring to reform them and guide them on the path of religion, striving to make legitimate earning on their behalf and seeing to the children’s education—all of these are tremendous meritorious acts, for they constitute custodianship and guardianship. (30)
The wife, and women in general, are characterized by their tempers, abilitites to cause pain, and the burdensome manner in which they must be protected. In other words, a wife is to be endured because she develops certain “meritorious” characteristics in the male, such as patience, and responsibility (30). The husband is identified as the guardian and custodian of the wife and children. As such, he exercises rights over his dependents. For example, he can command his wife to stay at home, and she is expected to obey. Her obedience is in relation to the obedience of her husband to Allah. Thus, there are degrees of responsibility the man exercises over his wives, just as there are commands and commendations God exercises over his creation.
Ghazali only considers the man’s perspective, and writes that the struggle in enduring women and children is equivalent to fighting in Allah’s cause, as jihad (30). But what of the woman enduring her husband? He does not consider the rewards of the woman in bearing a bumbling husband. Perhaps the reward for the woman caring for her husband and family is also implied because patience is a virtue irrespective of gender. Perhaps supporting a wife, like tending to a husband, is a “training and a discipline” for both husband and wife to the extent that it provides a form of worship or servitude to the Creator. Al Ghazali writes that in addition to training patience, providing and caring for the spouse is a “form of worship in its own right” (32). Marriage is thus a means to an end, i.e. the pleasure of Allah (swt).
Ultimately, Ghazali concludes that women ought to be treated with moderation. Al-Ghazali writes, “One should tread the middle path between contradiction and agreement, keeping to what is right in all this so as to be safe from their mischief, for “their guile is enormous (12:28), and their spite is notorious, more often than not, they are of bad character and feeble in intelligence, and the one way to compensate for this is by a blend of gentleness and authority” (65). These same deficiencies exist in humankind because guile, deception, bad character and feeble intelligence can all be characteristics of human beings, but never of the Creator.
Thus in representing women in this particularly deficient way, al Ghazali is able to argue for the dominance of the male over the female. He provides evidence for paternalism, by showing how men have rights and responsibilities over women. Despite the power imbalance between the husband and wife, the relationship between a husband and wife is mediated by the primary relationship between the individual (irrespective of gender) and Allah. The servitude of the woman towards her husband is akin to the servitude Muslims feel toward their Creator, given that Islam means submission. If the primary relationship between the believer and Allah is solid, it provides a foundation for the proper etiquette in conjugal life and marriage.
I love that I am no longer preoccupied with thoughts of boys, friendships, soul mates, gender relations, etc. Marriage personally has allowed me to engage in my coursework like I have never been able to before. It is a wonderous experience to be ready for class, with questions, to pursue your professors with questions, etc. Anyway, marriage is the sunnah of the Prophet (saw) andd highly regarded because of so many different merits. As only al-Ghazali can elaborate:
Marriage and Maintenance:
The Discourse of Paternalism in al Ghazali’s The Proper Conduct of Marriage in Islam
Praise be to Allah Whose wondrous works are proof against the arrows of illusion, from Whose simplest marvels the minds of men reel, giddy and perplexed abound for all creatures without cease. (5)
In describing the impression of one who considers Allah’s creation, Imam al Ghazali uses the adjectives “giddy and perplexed.” However, such a description also characterizes one who is trying to write about the “simplest marvels” of Ghazali’s text, The Proper Conduct of Marriage in Islam. An account of the prescriptive behavior regarding marriage and conjugal life, Ghazali begins with an exaltation of Allah, who created men from seminal fluid, and endowed his creatures with sexual appetite (5). This appetite is regulated and satisfied by “commendation and command”, i.e. from the sunnah of the Prophet (saw) and the Qur’an. Imported into the Islamic tradition is androcentrism, a view in which man and the male point of view is at the center of history and culture. Like most medieval Islamic discourse, the work of al Ghazali also adopts an androcentric point of view. Consequently, al Ghazali only addresses the man: e.g. reasons why he should marry, reasons why he may not need to marry, what responsibilities he has over his wives, how he is supposed to treat his wives, how he should provide sexual satisfaction to his wives, how he should provide a legitimate earning in order to provide for them. Although this androcentrism can be read into the text, in the Islamic worldview, the center of discourse is Allah (swt), and the individual’s relationship with Allah. This particular relationship mediates all other relationships because man’s responsibility first to his Creator precedes his duties to his wife and family. In fact, this hierarchy of worldview provides a framework in which to consider how the woman, who is seemingly absent in the text, is regarded. The overwhelming focus is on how husbands must be responsible for their wives because marriage and maintenance are ultimately a means to the specific end of serving Allah (swt). Therefore, in describing women as objects of male responsibility, al Ghazali is only showing how the male fulfills his duty to Allah.
In his first chapter, al Ghazali presents a cost-benefit analysis of marriage. In defense of marriage, he states: “Marriage comes to religion’s aid, striking devils with dismay; it is a fortress firm against Allah’s enemy, as well as a cause of prolificacy [of the Muslim community]” (6). This suggests that marriage offers two benefits. First, as a “fortress,” marriage is first a protection for the individual against illicit lust or other such improper conduct. The widely held view is that excessive sexual energy disrupts one’s ability to worship God, and creates corruption in society. Therefore the individual should have his sexual appetite satisfied through marriage. Al Ghazali uses evidence from the practices and sayings of Prophet Muhammad (saw) who says, “He who has means should marry” (8).
The second benefit to marriage is the begetting children. For al-Ghazali this is actually the primary reason for marriage because it is listed first in his analysis. Because within the Islamic tradition, there is evidence of encouraging even the impotent man to marry. In addition, there is a valuation of the fertile woman over the sterile woman, the severe disapproval of abstinence, and the commitment to pleasing and satisfying “Allah’s blessed Messenger by multiplying those who are to be his source of glory” (18). This following of the commendation and command of the Prophet (saw) becomes superior to pleasing one’s own desires. In discussing the virtue of marriage, therefore, al-Ghazali challenges the idea that marriage is solely a means to contain a man’s lust. Indeed, marriage is not a source of containment for the man, but rather a means of strength because children are benefits to salvation. This is because first, “the father is rewarded for his child’s prayers and good deeds,” and second, the child who dies before his father becomes an intercessor for him (19). The reasons for having children are related ultimately to the fact that the children will facilitate the individual’s salvation.
Although the mother is not addressed explicitly due to the androcentric worldview, she is understood to be included within the designation of “he.” When discussing marriage as a defense against illicit lust, Al-Ghazali does not seem to assume that the woman is without sexual desire, because in Chapter 3, he describes how it is proper sexual etiquette for the male to “attend patiently to his mate, until she also reaches her climax” (75). Al Ghazali recognizes the sexual appetite of the woman, and instructs the husband to tend to her sexual needs because the husband is responsible for preserving the virtue of his wife (75).
'The relationship between a man and woman is largely one of paternalism. The husband is responsible for providing for the wife in all ways, from making a halal living, to meeting her sexual needs, to guarding her virtue and modesty. Wives are like wards of the husband, to be protected as well as endured, as suggested by the following:
Upholding the rights of wives, enduring their tempers, bearing the pain they cause, endeavoring to reform them and guide them on the path of religion, striving to make legitimate earning on their behalf and seeing to the children’s education—all of these are tremendous meritorious acts, for they constitute custodianship and guardianship. (30)
The wife, and women in general, are characterized by their tempers, abilitites to cause pain, and the burdensome manner in which they must be protected. In other words, a wife is to be endured because she develops certain “meritorious” characteristics in the male, such as patience, and responsibility (30). The husband is identified as the guardian and custodian of the wife and children. As such, he exercises rights over his dependents. For example, he can command his wife to stay at home, and she is expected to obey. Her obedience is in relation to the obedience of her husband to Allah. Thus, there are degrees of responsibility the man exercises over his wives, just as there are commands and commendations God exercises over his creation.
Ghazali only considers the man’s perspective, and writes that the struggle in enduring women and children is equivalent to fighting in Allah’s cause, as jihad (30). But what of the woman enduring her husband? He does not consider the rewards of the woman in bearing a bumbling husband. Perhaps the reward for the woman caring for her husband and family is also implied because patience is a virtue irrespective of gender. Perhaps supporting a wife, like tending to a husband, is a “training and a discipline” for both husband and wife to the extent that it provides a form of worship or servitude to the Creator. Al Ghazali writes that in addition to training patience, providing and caring for the spouse is a “form of worship in its own right” (32). Marriage is thus a means to an end, i.e. the pleasure of Allah (swt).
Ultimately, Ghazali concludes that women ought to be treated with moderation. Al-Ghazali writes, “One should tread the middle path between contradiction and agreement, keeping to what is right in all this so as to be safe from their mischief, for “their guile is enormous (12:28), and their spite is notorious, more often than not, they are of bad character and feeble in intelligence, and the one way to compensate for this is by a blend of gentleness and authority” (65). These same deficiencies exist in humankind because guile, deception, bad character and feeble intelligence can all be characteristics of human beings, but never of the Creator.
Thus in representing women in this particularly deficient way, al Ghazali is able to argue for the dominance of the male over the female. He provides evidence for paternalism, by showing how men have rights and responsibilities over women. Despite the power imbalance between the husband and wife, the relationship between a husband and wife is mediated by the primary relationship between the individual (irrespective of gender) and Allah. The servitude of the woman towards her husband is akin to the servitude Muslims feel toward their Creator, given that Islam means submission. If the primary relationship between the believer and Allah is solid, it provides a foundation for the proper etiquette in conjugal life and marriage.
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