Skip to main content

What is flirtation?

Walking along West Fourth with Moumita last Saturday, we stopped in front of those fold up tables full of used/new books. She picked up The Second Sex and then noticed The Incredible Lightness of Being. Our hands reached for the same book as we exclaimed, delighted by the title and author we had both heard much about. I admit she had seen the book before me, and technically, had purchasing rights to the book. She relented however, when I promised to finish it quickly and lend it to her. I added Kundera to my collection.

And to my online Blog, a collection of myself online, I've added the following quotes:

"What is flirtation? One might say that it is behavior leading another to believe that sexual intimacy is possible, while preventing that possibility from becoming a certainty. In other words, flirting is a promise of sexual intercourse without the guarantee." (142)

"The meeting of umbrellas was a test of strength" (135)

"...in the realm of possibility, an infinite number of unconsummated loves for other men" (34)

Making love with a woman and sleeping with a woman are two separate passions, not merely different but opposite. Love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman). (15)

Chance and chance alone has a message for us. Everything that occurs out of necessity, everything expected, repeated day in and day out, is mute. Only chance can speak to us. (48)

What is unique about the "I" hides itself exactly in what is unimaginable about a person. All we are able to imagine is what makes everyone like everyone else, what people have in common. The individual "I" is what differs from the common stock, that is, what cannot be guessed at or calculated, what must be unveiled, uncovered, conquered. (199)

It is a completely selfless love [the love between a human being and a dog]. [s]he did not ever ask him to love her back. Nor had she ever asked herself the questions that plague human couples: Does he love me? Does he love anyone more than me? Does he love me more than I love him? Perhaps all the questions we ask of love, to measure, test, probe and save it have the additional effect of cutting it short. Perhaps the reason e are unable to love is that we yearn to be loved, that is, we demand something (love) from our partner instead of delivering ourselves up to him demand-free and asking for nothing but his company. (297)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Mourning loss as a philanthropy worker and mom

As a new mother, I see my daughter growing up in a world in which there is no Mohammad Ali.  I am writing as a mourning mom. By the time my daughter goes to a healthy school , and learns about Dr. King, will she also learn about Muhammad Ali? Who will she look up to as the ethical leaders of her generation? Who will she look up to, to show her how to laugh in the face of xenophobia? How to joke in the face of racism? Sure, we will watch the videos, read the books, and do our best to teach our kids what is truly important. That social emotional skills matter. That people matter. That culture matters. That faith matters. That what matters most is that we are all in this together.   Our interdependence requires us to step outside of our comfort zones and engage people who are different from us who don’t think the same way we do. Philanthropy seems more akin to academia, removed from the actual needs of people, producing and disseminating research to the people who are our...

Revolution II: The Electoral Process

I spent my entire fall semester organizing, mobilizing, surveying, educating and empowering young South Asian Americans for the 2004 election. As a Fellow with South Asian American Voting Youth ( www.SAAVY.org ), I was part of a national campaign that registered over 1500 people, and mobilized twice that number to the polling booths on November 2nd. I did this organizing work for many reasons--personal, political, social reasons why I believe this sort of work is crucial in the SA community. The basic premise, of course, is that full democratic participation is good. Given my new found classic conservatism, I cannot wholly accept this premise. Moreover, I do not think people can vote for revolutions through the ballot. Candidates that are extreme in any way, or markedly different, are rarely successful in American political history. In times of war, people have relinquished freedoms for the illusive notion of security. We are socialized to fear the Other, the scary Arab or Muslim man w...

Ode to Parents

I love my parents. I believe my parents are the two greatest people I will ever meet in my life. Everything about them fills me with wonder: my mother for her love, sacrifice, beauty, devotion to her children and husband, her culinary skills, her character; my father, for his life stories, his courage, determination, smartness, dimples, and generosity. I feel that they are both individuals of faith that are sent by God as a Mercy to me, and my brother. I spent Wednesday through Friday morning at my best friend Moumita's house in Astoria. Strangely, however, I spent more time talking with Moumita's Mom, who I adore as Auntie, than I did with my friend. Auntie and I have much in common, almost as much as Moumita and I have in common. We love people. We love to laugh and are often direct with our questions and criticisms. We are both friendly and easy-going. The threads of our conversations are circular. She'll ask me what I want in a husband and I'll ignore the question a...