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When you break the law,

Today, the police officer at 34th Street asked, "Do you have a hard time admitting that you're wrong?" I said, "No officer, I am usually very quick to admit guilt. But it takes me a long time to change my thinking or behavior." And then I proceeded to ask him for the statistical details on how many people are ticketed or arrested at the subway station. He was rude, and refused to answer.

So today I recieved my first ticket. This Monday was my first domestic flight (to South Bend, Indiana), and today was my first SUMMONS. Gee whiz, I am growing up fast. The bad day really started yesterday, when I unexpectedly decided to pop by my friend's place with another friend, thinking well, spontaneity cannot be read as interest/weirdness. However, I had a conversation that put me back in my little hole, and that has left me in pieces. Shattered, is how Mick Jagger would describe it. "My brain's been splattered / all over / Manhattan" That's what he would say. What I call it is God's punishment for disobediance. I will write a check to New York City for $120 tomorrow for my silly disobediance.

I've got to start following directions. First from God, then from other people in positions of authority, and then maybe ultimately from my heart, because by then it will not be made entirely of soot.

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