As a child, my mother told me a very strange story about how men find women to marry. This story I've repeated maybe dozens of times, because its influence is rather pervasive in my thinking.
My mother told me once, women are like mangoes. Mangoes come in all kinds of conditions. Some are really ripe, some are hard, some are very sweet, some are not so sweet. From a crate of mangoes, people will pick up mangoes according to their preference. However, it is always the case that there will be mangoes that are left over, that do not sell as quickly. People miss them because they are at the bottom of the crate. But they are just as good as any other mango in the crate. But eventually, there will come an individual who just hungry enough to buy that last remaining mango.
This story, though sexist and problematic on so many levels, still subscribes hope for the last mango, which is waiting patiently to be purchased and eaten. Over the years, I've gotten over the absurdity of the story, or the possibility that I would be one of those last mangoes waiting at the bottom of the crate. I don't think my mother realized how painful that realization may be, but really, as I sit here alone now, this story seems very true, and very real, and definitely a possibility that cannot deny.
Please do not tell your daughters the mango story.
Instead tell them the following story:
A boy is going to the market to buy a mango for his mango lassi. A girl is also going to the market to buy a mango for her mango chaat. They are two consumers that are in the market for a particular produce. The two come across the same mango in the fruit alise of the grocery store. They are amazed by the coincidence. They laugh and decide they are compatible and that their parents would approve of someone who likes mangoes. So they get married.
How much better is the latter story? Perhaps it is less probable, but surely it is a better story to tell your daughters.
My mother told me once, women are like mangoes. Mangoes come in all kinds of conditions. Some are really ripe, some are hard, some are very sweet, some are not so sweet. From a crate of mangoes, people will pick up mangoes according to their preference. However, it is always the case that there will be mangoes that are left over, that do not sell as quickly. People miss them because they are at the bottom of the crate. But they are just as good as any other mango in the crate. But eventually, there will come an individual who just hungry enough to buy that last remaining mango.
This story, though sexist and problematic on so many levels, still subscribes hope for the last mango, which is waiting patiently to be purchased and eaten. Over the years, I've gotten over the absurdity of the story, or the possibility that I would be one of those last mangoes waiting at the bottom of the crate. I don't think my mother realized how painful that realization may be, but really, as I sit here alone now, this story seems very true, and very real, and definitely a possibility that cannot deny.
Please do not tell your daughters the mango story.
Instead tell them the following story:
A boy is going to the market to buy a mango for his mango lassi. A girl is also going to the market to buy a mango for her mango chaat. They are two consumers that are in the market for a particular produce. The two come across the same mango in the fruit alise of the grocery store. They are amazed by the coincidence. They laugh and decide they are compatible and that their parents would approve of someone who likes mangoes. So they get married.
How much better is the latter story? Perhaps it is less probable, but surely it is a better story to tell your daughters.
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