Letters to My Daughter

"Sometimes in life, the (limited) choices we have are blessings in disguise." -a friend I applied to one business school-Stern- and didn't get in. I appreciate the wisdom of the admissions office. I feel I am destined to learn business somehow, to be involved in something so long as I keep my eyes and ears open, and start learning practical skills. I must enroll in an accounting class. I really loved when my father showed me his software program. I liked how you can input numbers into a program, and the computer can help you make sense of those numbers. It is elegant. My father not only empowers people in the community with his accounting service (literally helps people get money from the government), he also advises and consults new businesses and nonprofits. He has over 3000 clients that he handles from all over the continental US. He does this as his solo practice. I marvel at my father and his entrepreneurial spirit. He was motivated by the dollar. He left the world h...

Tom Petty said it best: "I'm free, free fallin.'" He might have been describing heartbreak, but I think the joblessness of my state, and that of the United States, are one and the same. I feel that my mental state has gradually withered away as I've received rejection after rejection--sometimes multiple rejections in one day! "It's not you," friends console, "It's the economy." As much as I would like to blame the ECONOMY for all that's wrong in my world right now, to do so would be irresponsible. In fact, my joblessness has much more to do with my lack of confidence, lack of engagement, and my lack of aggressiveness. I have had 12 callbacks in the past 2 months. And not a single job offer. My interviews were great, some lasting over an hour because my recruiters felt like long lost friends. However, at the end of the day, I am still without a job. What could have gone wrong? Did I smell? Was my hijab too tight? Did I not provide su...

Procrastination. In a word, yes, that is the entire story of my life. May God forgive me for this.. Last night I went to a Islamic Finance event at Columbia University. I learned how many of my perceptions of the socioreligious movement/sector/industry were misinformed, ironically, by the last Islamic Finance event I attended at NYU Stern two years ago. At this particular moment in history, I can understand the necessity of welding ethics and financial institutions together. People have to believe in the institutions they adhere to. It is critical to understand capitalism as a global citizen and student. I am pretty sure Adam Smith would be furious with the excesses we've created in our free market system; yet understanding what currently exists is incredibly important. Last night, I was also reminded of how good it is to have friends! I'm sure that is a no brainer for most people with social lives, but I turn on and off my social activities depending on necessity and my schedu...

Today I received an email about a woman I have never met, a child I will never get to meet, and a family in despair. I learned of a woman with brain cancer, whose baby died. I have not met Fatima Qasim but I believe in the Mercy of God. That in this pain, grief and sadness, there is also mercy. I believe in the Mercy of God who allows good people to fall sick, to die. I believe in the Mercy of God who allows us to veer so terribly off the course that we can hardly recognize ourselves. I believe in the Mercy of God despite the harm we inflict on our selves, our bodies, and our families. I believe in the Mercy of God to purify our hearts, to remove the blackness that grows like mold. I believe in the Mercy of God who solves all problems, and creates so many more problems for us to solve. I cannot understand why I am crying for a woman I have never met, but I believe in the Mercy of God who reminds me of who I am. I believe in the Mercy of God who allows a young woman my age to survive tr...

Life is about the routines, the behaviors that you perform each and every day. I believe its important to act on the values that you have, to instill in yourself the acts that will bring you towards a larger goal. For most people today, there is no larger goal. Life is a set of routines: wake up, go to work, eat, sleep, shower, pray. Does one act mean more than another? Sure, depending on what your values are, certain acts are more meaningful than others. Each individual has a set of values that she enacts in her routine. In the routine, I find that certain values are not being played out. I find that certain values are absent and that if anything, I am in trouble because I have not delivered on what I had promised. I am not holding up to my side of the bargain. In those instances, I am deceiving myself. I am annoyed with the endless tasks to do, and the responsibility of it all. On one hand, I want total control and responsibility; on the other hand, I wish others would just "tak...

Some days, I wish I could disappear. I wish I would access to the opportunities and freedom to live independently, to make independent choices, to have the option to choose how to spend my morning. There are days I wish I could book a flight and fly to another part of the country, another part of the world for work, or for pleasure, for necessity, for any reason at all just because I was an independent woman. I am not an independent woman. I am "tethered" to a house and a family in suburban New Jersey. There are days I like being tethered and then there are days that I wish I could be tethered elsewhere, and be more selective about who I am tethered to. I am surprised by the lack of possibility that exists for me now. I miss the urban sprawl of my life, though I admire the many advantages to a clean, noise-free, isolating life of suburbia. I am quickly becoming a woman gone to waste. I am highly dissatisfied certain mornings when the first thing I have to do is clean up after...