Letters to My Daughter

Dear Fatima Writing to you is essential because one day you will grow up and wonder what we did during your earliest years. The writing won't be perfect. More often than not it will be stream of consciousness. I write to you as you sleep, with your father's steady snoring is in the background-- making me very sleepy too! Our care ecosystem consists of many people. This post will share a little bit more about the incredible people who are part of your care team. Your dada and dadi watch you almost every other day, while also maintaining 4 businesses. Your dadi lights up whenever she sees you and so do you. She has consistently been there from the day you were born, visiting 2 times a week while also completing her job at Merck. She declined a manager opportunity so she could be with you. And what's more she has consistently denied the manager job because she has always prioritized her family. What you value is what you spend most of your time doing. Your dada (grandpa...

As a new mother, I see my daughter growing up in a world in which there is no Mohammad Ali.  I am writing as a mourning mom. By the time my daughter goes to a healthy school , and learns about Dr. King, will she also learn about Muhammad Ali? Who will she look up to as the ethical leaders of her generation? Who will she look up to, to show her how to laugh in the face of xenophobia? How to joke in the face of racism? Sure, we will watch the videos, read the books, and do our best to teach our kids what is truly important. That social emotional skills matter. That people matter. That culture matters. That faith matters. That what matters most is that we are all in this together.   Our interdependence requires us to step outside of our comfort zones and engage people who are different from us who don’t think the same way we do. Philanthropy seems more akin to academia, removed from the actual needs of people, producing and disseminating research to the people who are our...

One day, I'd like to share this blog with my daughter. This is the means through which she will get to know her mother, who she was, what she did, what she cared about. I write about the things I want her to know, in case I am not there to tell her myself. I write to tell her what I feel, in case I am not there to show her. I write, to keep the realities of my lived experience alive for her, so that she will learn. I write, maybe too harshly, or plainly but it is how I strive to be a parent to my Muslim daughter. My dream is that one day, she will get to know her mother through this blog. Dear my baby girl: I worry. I worried while you were still in my belly. I worried that you might not be getting enough vitamins, or that I had started taking the fish oil supplements too late, or that I had drank one too many cups of chai. I worried when I took Amtrak to DC too many times for work, or took a plan to Florida or the Bahamas that something might happen en route (trains get derai...

Last year I co-authored a chapter with my favorite professor from the University of Pennsylvania, Marybeth Gasman, who is the founder and director of the Center for Minority Serving Institutions . As I've begun to get more involved with higher educational institutions, I decided to look back at this publication for some insight and direction. Check out more information below and please buy a copy of the book! Living at the Intersections: Social Identities and Black Collegians  (2013) brings together 21 diverse authors from 14 different institutions, including our nation’s most prestigious public and private universities, to advance the use of intersectionality and intersectional approaches in studying Black students in higher education. Chapters cover a diversity of topics, ranging from spirituality to sexuality and masculinity, from Black students at HBCUs to those in STEM majors, and a host of issues related to race, class, gender, and other identities. Authors...

Are you interested in learning how you can use social media for your own professional development? I am joining forces with my friend Erin Barnes of ioby to present a free webinar to EPIP members. We will present case studies on how philanthropic and mission-based organizations are using social media to disseminate information and be better learning organizations. What can we as individuals do to be part of that kind of work? It's ironic really, that I would be sharing research and best practices on social media. My use of social media is mostly ad-hoc, but I rely on it as a tool that helps me engage with the world. I use it to stay informed of news, ideas, and resources. I rely on it to connect me the ideas and issues that other's are talking about. I use social media primarily to learn. And that's where the value is. As a disclaimer, I do not engage with social media every single day. If you are interested in learning more about the webinar, please feel free t...

Joining a board feels like a new beginning, like experiencing a sunrise on a drive to yoga class... at least for me, anyway. I recently joined a nonprofit working committee, and went through the process of recruitment, interviewing, and vetting. I found myself looking for something inspiring beyond my current job or role as a project manager. You've got to know what to ask, and what you're getting into before you make the jump into nonprofit board service. Many board members do not know what they are getting into when they join a board. I have seen boards in which one or more directors actually disagreed with the organization’s mission, had obvious but undeclared conflicts of interest, or knew they would not be able to attend most of the board meetings. It would be correct to blame the organization for recruiting and electing such members but don’t forget the directors accepted the nomination and agreed to serve. If you are invited to join a board, what can you do to be...

This weekend, I experienced a time warp. Both my husband and I attended functions with our high school friends, friends we have known for decades. On Saturday, we joined Andrea and Sarat in Philadelphia's Magic Gardens for a beautiful and unique nondenominational ceremony focused on love. The groom himself wore a traditional Indian shalwar suit, while the bride wore a white dress. Like the couple, the attendees wore whatever made then comfortable and happy. They have been together for a decade, since college, through multiple relocations and careers. I'm inspired by their tenacity and endurance to stay together, to continue to love each other without a sense of obligation, pretense. I've included a picture of the gorgeous couple and unique venue below. On Sunday, I went to Moumita's bridal shower near Long Island, New York. We have known each other since Stuyvesant High School. We shared stories of our youth, of our innocence and stupidity, and celebrated our so c...

Sometimes we need a facelift. It looks like Blogger has a new (inter)face. Since this is the first change I've seen to Blogger since I started 7 years ago, I have decided to start anew, with an introduction.  Hello, my name is Sadia.  I am a Project Manager at a nonprofit consulting organization in New York City. We provide capacity building expertise and strategic consulting in 3 major areas: resource development, governance and special events. I am responsible for tracking outcomes, program support, marketing and communications, and new business development.    I have extensive marketing, program support and monitoring experience in the nonprofit and private sectors. I've basically grown up within the nurturing spaces of NYC nonprofits like South Asian Youth Action, where I served a Board member, and  Sadie Nash Leadership Project , which helps NYC youth become life-long leaders.  My greatest achievement was starting  Remembering...

My weekends, as you know, consist mostly of cooking (you can see my labor manifest in the photo) and catching up on housework. I wash hundreds of plates, cups and pans by hand for our family of 5. I never use the dishwasher, since I would have to load and load it at least 4 times, or wait 80 minute intervals until the cycle ends. Also on the weekends, I relax with my Atlantic monthly at panera bread. I love paying my bills, and analyzing my expenses on mint.com and EEBA. Besides my usual errands and list of responsibilities, this Saturday, I slept for 14 hours straight, from 4pm to 6am the following morning. I was so tired, my molecules were so in need of repair, that I was knocked out for an entire day. This was the source of grief in my household. Every weekend, my husband naps for 2-3 hours, after each game, so sometimes 4-6 hours total between Saturday and Sunday. I had an early night--4pm in the afternoon is a VERY early night--and roughly the same allotment of time except in ...

Last night, my husband and I attended the UPenn MSA Alumni banquet, where we saw some friends that we have grown with over the past 6 years. I remember the first banquet dinner I attended in 2007, when Mohamed and I had gotten back from hajj. As the wife of the alumnus, I felt strange to be there simply as a "wife." There were a few wives I met at that first banquet, and many MANY weddings I have attended since then (maybe 8 Upenn weddings). I witnessed the pool of banquet attendees gradually increase from 30 to 40 to 60, as people got married and started their families.  The only markers of that time that has passed is the children. Once you get married, there really is no other progress to indicate the health of a relationship other than a child--and perhaps the fact that you are still married. It is quite a strange deliverable and marker, but I believe this is the marker set by my particular community. After 6 years, I am at times still struggling in this role of "w...

In three weeks, I will be 25 years old and a graduate student at an Ivy League University. I am shaping my education and building my career, my future, and taking steps to improve myself, and challenge myself. I want to expose myself to ideas again, to be filled with art, culture, and love. I am excited and I do not know yet if I am ready. 

On Sunday July 5th, I came back from Chicago to a burnt house. The house that is directly behind our house burned down, the blackened wood erect in the place of a home. I often saw the house from my kitchen window. I remember a mother walking with an infant son, children playing on a swing, the neatly landscaped backyard. I do not the names or faces of any of these people but I remember the perfect white picket fence. It's all gone now. My dad reminded me that these houses that we build with so much time and sweat are really just made from plastic and wood. Despite our best efforts to beautify and clean and organize our homes, the very construction is combustible. May God have mercy on the family that lived there.

Today I began reading Peter Han's Nobodies to Somebodies: How 100 Leaders in Business, Politics, Arts, Science, and Nonprofits Got Started . The book speaks to young people, born between 1975 and 1985, who yearn for making a difference in the world, but struggle with making the decisions that will build their careers. In many ways, this book is an intergenerational dialogue. Han believes that there is a great deal young people can learn from older generations, and that the best way to glean that guidance is to ask the right questions of the older generation. Specifically, Han asks leaders across sectors about their first experiences out of college, about the formidable experiences they've had before they became elite achievers. How did they manage themselves? How did they start out?  "Young people remain hungry for perspective on how to translate their aspirations to achievement," he writes. "And older people remain capable of offering that perspective" (i...

Given the changes to Blogger, a service I have used on and off for the past 7 years, I have decided to start with an introduction.  My name is Sadia. I am a Project Manager at a nonprofit consulting organization in New York City. We provide capacity building expertise and strategic consulting in 3 major areas: resource development, governance and special events. I am responsible for tracking outcomes, program support, marketing and communications, and new business development.    I have extensive marketing, program support and monitoring experience in the nonprofit and private sectors. I've basically grown up within the nurturing spaces of NYC nonprofits like South Asian Youth Action, where I served a Board member, and Sadie Nash Leadership Project , which helps NYC youth become life-long learners and leaders.  My greatest achievement was starting  Remembering Forward , an intergenerational community arts program for diverse young women (ages 14-...

A major theme in Democracy in America is Tocqueville's recurring evocation of Americans as ceaselessly active and restlessly striving. The American spirit is energetic and enterprising. Americans are never at rest or settled, but always in a hurry, in permanent agitation and constant motion, incessantly jostling one another. Nothing is fixed. Perpetually on the move, Americans change jobs and homes whenever opportunity calls. Tocqueville marvels at meeting men who have successively been lawyers, farmers, merchants, ministers of the Gospel and doctors. (xxxii) I promised myself that I would attempt to read this book, since I had first encountered this title in high school. I was surprised to learn that Tocqueville was only 25 years old when he makes the trip to America, and begins writing his intellectual opus. He arrives in America on the pretext of observing American prisons, but remains here for 9 months studying the culture, people, and way of life. His observations have become...

This shouldn't be so hard. It's not a trick question. The answer can't be googled It's not something I can read somewhere else and then memorize. But why does it feel impossible to answer? The question is simply: What is your dream job? What would it take for you to actually try to attain your dream?  Answers can be anything, you want to be a chef, pilot, designer, dancer,etc...  Do you feel that there is anything that would act as a barrier to you chasing after your dream? This was the question I got at a recent interview. I was supposed to do a writing sample on the above question and for some reason, I found it really hard to answer. So I'm back here on my blog, sorting through the various threads I could use to answer this question. Here is a draft of what I would write. Please feel free to comment-- My dream job is to write professionally. I dream of writing essays, reports, evaluations, and fiction as a full time job--perhaps multiple part-time jobs. I ...

Congress.org - News : Activist walks a lonely path

Columbia or Penn? It is June 8th, and I thought I would have made up my mind by now. In fact, when I tell people (all 3 of my friends), I'm going to Penn, it would seem that I have already made up my mind. Yet the fact that I still have options until June 15th is actually quite frustrating, but in the best way decisions are fought with tension. Columbia or Penn? Why not Princeton? I hadn't even considered Princeton. One look at their admissions numbers, and I felt like running, screaming, fleeing towards NYU. I've been to Princeton, for its graduation and some events on campus. What strikes me is the overall INTENSITY of the university, the level of commitment students have to their studies. Driving through the campus at 11PM, or 10AM, the campus is quite, and I imagine the entire campus is studying somewhere. I found it thoroughly inspiring but I could not muster the same enthusiasm during my years at NYU. I remember the days I was at Cornell for a summer honors progra...

From "Here is New York"* (1948) by E. B. White There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born there, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size, its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter--the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something. Of these trembling cities the greatest is the last--the city of final destination, the city that is a goal. It is this third city that accounts for New York’s high strung disposition, its poetical deportment, its dedication to the arts, and its incomparable achievements. Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness, natives give it solidity and continuity, but the settlers give it passion. And whether it is a farmer arriving from a small town in Mississippi to escape the indignity of being observed by her ...